Some Of My Best Friends Are…Australian?

The Western world has sunk into such collective lunacy, we may as well all walk around dressed in clown suits with a banana in each ear. What difference would it make?

From Britain, which was once a consequential nation:

A woman was found guilty of racially abusing her New Zealand-born neighbour by calling her a “stupid fat Australian” . . . [Petra] Mills, 31, denied racially aggravated public disorder but was found guilty after a trial at Macclesfield magistrates` court.

Australians constitute a race? Apparently so.

[Prosecutor Iain] Mutch argued Mills`s intention was to “racially insult” her victim. Chairman of the bench Brian Donohue said: “You were in an emotional and inebriated state. The word `Australian` was used. It was racially aggravated and the main reason it was used was in hostility.”

How much does this racial abuse weigh in the scales of British justice?

Mills admitted to assaulting PC Bassirat by kicking him in the shin and knee during her arrest. She was fined £110 for racially aggravated public disorder and £200 for assaulting a police officer.

So calling your neighbor a stupid fat Australian is 55 percent as flagitious as kicking a Bobby.

In the approved ritual fashion, Ms. Mills indignantly denied any racist intent:

“Yes, I shouted at her but it had nothing to do with racism. I did not used the word `Australian.` I used to live with an Australian person. She was very nice.”

I concur. My own experience of Australians is that they are an innocent, happy people gifted with a wonderful sense of rhythm, who have borne up nobly under great historical injustices.

A minor point here is that the offended neighbor is not, in fact, Australian, but New Zealandish. New Zealanders do not take kindly to being mistaken for Australians, who (they believe) look down on them as dimwitted country cousins with amorous inclinations towards their livestock.

Whether this extra element of racist offense was factored into the magistrate`s judgment, the news story does not tell us.

How blessed the land whose magistrates and law-enforcement officers have so little to do they can spend half a day adjudicating such matters!