When I was growing up in England we took the local town newspaper. My mother's favorite pages were those recording births, marriages, and deaths. She referred to those pages as the "hatched, matched, and dispatched."

I keep meaning to institute a regular "hatched, matched, and dispatched" item here on Radio Derb, but then I keep forgetting. This week I didn't forget. I don't have any significant new matches to report, but I do have a hatched and a couple of dispatcheds.

Hatchee of the week — actually of the month: birth date was December 8th, I'm just late reporting it — is Deveraux Octavian Basil Jagger, eighth child of Rolling Stone Mick Jagger, born to ballerina Melanie Hamrick here in New York. So far as I can discover, mother and child are both thriving. Congratulations to the proud parents.

Given the dismal demographic statistics for Ice People that I was quoting for you last week, it's heartening to know that Mick continues to be generous in bestowing his genetic material on the world.

Heartening, too, to see some onomastic conservatism here. I don't know why Mick and Melanie picked Deveraux, but it's a fine dignified old Norman name, with I think vaguely Cajun connotations to American ears. Octavian refers of course to the infant being Mick's eighth, and also has a fine imperial ring to it. Basil was Mick's father's name, and adds a touch of royalty to the imperial theme.

In an age of silly celebrity baby names, this is, as I said, heartening. The London Daily Telegraph, in its notice of the Jagger birth, reminded us of some of those others: Uma Thurman's child Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence, for example. The really evil thing about names like that is that once you've heard them, you can't forget them: like Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa. Come to think of it, what's up with "Uma"?