I`ll Boycott If You Guillotine My Sandwich—”Derbyshired” Becomes A Verb

I am thrilled beyond measure to see my name used as a verb.

I don’t know whether it’s because Dunphy’s a neo-con, or because he fears getting Derbyshired by house censor Rich Lowry, but he pulls his punches these days.

I hope other writers will follow Nicholas Stix in this usage.  If enough do so, the verb “to derbyshire” (I`d drop the capital for a less formal, more colloquial look) might come to the attention of lexicographers.

For their information, present-tense conjugation is regular:  I derbyshire; you derbyshire; he, she, or it derbyshires; etc.  I wouldn`t resist a touch of archaism in the participles, though: perhaps “derbyshore” for the preterite, or “derbyshiren” for the perfect. 

One of my schoolmasters used to say that there are only two forms of immortality worth a damn: to have a mathematical theorem named after one, or to get a poem in the Oxford Book of English Verse.  

Maybe so: but at this point in life, I`d gladly settle for seeing my name listed as a verb in some respectable dictionary.