December 20, 2002
View From Lodi, CA: Key Lime Pie For Christmas!
By
Joe Guzzardi
[VDARE.COM
note: Believe it or not, there are people
in Lodi, California, and even among VDARE.com’s
readers, who tire of an unrelieved diet of
immigration reform. Here Joe once again adds
something to your diet that any diet requires:
food! ]
Joe’s Previous Food Columns
05/03/02 - View From Lodi, CA: The Coming Fast Food
Fight
03/03/02 - View From Lodi, CA: Bon Appetit, Julia Child!
12/22/01 - Fruitcakes: As Memorable As A Story by Capote
At Thanksgiving I baked a traditional Sweet Potato
Pie and a non-traditional Key Lime Pie.
When dessert time rolled around, the votes were eight
for Key Lime and zero for Sweet Potato.
This admittedly unprofessional sampling confirmed my
long-held theory that while the sweet potato has its
place on your Thanksgiving and Christmas table, that
place is not in a pastry shell.
As an accompaniment to a baked ham, nothing beats a
sweet potato. But even all gussied up with bourbon,
cream, maple syrup and every spice on your shelf, you
can’t disguise a sweet potato.
Do to it what you will, it will never be dessert.
The mere mention of Key Lime Pie, however, transports
your guests from the cold and blustery winter to a sunny
spot in Southern Florida. The winter blahs vanish,
visions of sailboats dance in your head and suddenly
you’re humming Jimmy Buffet tunes.
Not only does a Key Lime Pie taste better than any
other Christmas dessert you might be contemplating but
you can make ten of them in the amount of time you’d
spend on a Sweet Potato Pie.
And here is the best news of all: with only three
ingredients—Key Lime juice, sweetened condensed milk and
egg yolks—nothing can go wrong.
Consider the labor intensive and treacherous Sweet
Potato Pie. First bake the potatoes, cool them, mash
them to death, and add everything but the kitchen sink.
While you’re waiting for the potatoes to cool,
prepare the pie dough, chill it, then roll it out and
place it in your pie dish. Since this is a single crust
recipe, you’ll have to blind bake it. Puncture your
dough, weigh it down, bake it and hope that it isn’t the
size of a postage stamp when you take it from the oven.
While you’re doing all that work, I’ll just beat four
egg yolks, add 2/3 cup of strained Key Lime juice and a
can of sweetened condensed milk. Then I’ll pour the
mixture into a foolproof graham cracker crust and bake
for 10 minutes.
Key Lime Pie, like other favorite dishes, generates
heated debates among aficionados. While it is impossible
to resolve these conflicted opinions, I will offer my
insights for your consideration.
Issue #1—Should the pie be served in a graham cracker
crust or a pastry shell? If you have a Conch at your
house, present your pie in a pastry crust. Floridians
insist on it. Otherwise, unless you have piecrust
mastery, choose the easy way. Use a graham cracker
crust. Add a little lime zest for extra flavor.
Issue #2— Should your topping be whipped cream or
meringue? This is truly a no-brainer. A large dollop of
whipped cream (not Kool-Whip!) is the only way to go.
Issue #3—Should your pie be frozen before serving?
Since the filling is soft, a brief fifteen-minute stint
in the freezer will improve the texture. Do not leave it
any longer. You’re serving pie, not a Popsicle.
Here are a few other hints to ensure the best
results. Squeezing a key lime is no day at the beach.
They are small, tough and loaded with seeds. Get a lime
squeezer to ease your task. Be sure to strain the juice.
For your crust and whipped cream topping, use the
zest from the better-known and more colorful Persian
lime. Put about two teaspoons of zest in your crust. And
sprinkle lime zest on the whipped cream before serving.
Key Limes are available throughout California. But if
you can’t get them, do not substitute foul tasting
bottled key lime juice. Use instead 1/3 cup of lemon
juice and 1/3 cup of Persian Lime juice.
Incase you can’t break with tradition at Christmas,
this pie will taste great while you’re watching the
Orange Bowl.
Here is the recipe:
