May 20, 2005
View From Lodi, CA: Silence Is Golden—Or, Anyway,
Joe Prefers It
By Joe Guzzardi
‘It
is wise to be silent when occasion requires…’
--From ‘Of Garrulity’ by Plutarch (AD 46-120)
I like two kinds of people—the
strong silent type and the weak silent type.
Genetics play a large role in my
preference for quiet. My father recalled that when he
was growing up in his patriarchal
Sicilian home, my grandfather insisted on total
silence at the dinner table. If Granddad asked a direct
question, a short response was permitted.
Speak without being spoken to and
you might get a pop in the chops.
Interestingly, once freed from
my grandfather’s shackles my grandmother, my aunt
and uncle all developed into pretty good yakkers.
I have the fondest memories of my
grandmother talking about the three
loves of her life: her family, Italian opera and the
Brooklyn Dodgers.
My
mother’s side of the family had good talkers. My
grandmother talked so much we created the mythical Jesse
B. Miller Award for anyone who could out-gab her. That
was quite a challenge since Jesse B. answered all of her
own questions thereby making it impossible to get a word
in edgewise.
But my father always drilled home
the importance of keeping quiet.
Once when I was 14, I was mouthing
off in that know-it-all adolescent way. Dad let me
finish before he took me aside.
"Son," he said, "it is
far better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth
and remove all doubt."
My old man imparted many pearls to
me. Most took years to sink in. That gem, however,
struck me like a lightning bolt.
If only others would take heed.
"Hello,
I Must Be Going."
Groucho Marx
People are such gas bags—and
without the slightest prompting. No subject is too
indelicate—divorces, children,
operations on body parts that never see the light of
day.
If you doubt me, just take passage
on any airline. I guarantee that you will sit next to
someone who will, without solicitation, tell you his
life story in painful detail.
"You
can’t learn with your mouth open."—
Wisdom
from my father
In one of life’s interesting
twists, and one for which I’m very thankful, I’ve moved
from a profession (investment banking) that required a
lot of talking to one where I do very little (adult
school instructor).
As an investment banker, clients
always asked my opinion on interest rates, the
stock market, currency fluctuations and the
Federal Reserve Board. I had to answer in
depth and with authority.
Occasionally, I had to deliver a
speech on some arcane topic. Even though it went against
the grain, I was always talking. I soon learned that the
accuracy of my patter was not as important as the
confidence with which I delivered it.
Although you would imagine that I
talk a lot as a
teacher, I do not. Since my students don’t speak
English I encourage them to do the talking…and they’re
pretty good at it.
Once, knowing they were not
discussing their grammar exercises, I asked what they
were talking about.
"Your spouses?" I inquired.
No. "Your children?" No. "Recipes?"
"No," they answered
gleefully, "We’re just talking!"
"Empty
barrels make the most noise"
More
wisdom from my old man.
I recently watched a tape of a
1952 World Series game between the
New York Yankees and the
Brooklyn Dodgers. The announcers were
Mel Allen and
Red Barber.
"Mantle to the plate,"
intoned Allen. "The pitch is high—ball one—here’s
Erskine’s offering—strike one—fouled back—strike two—"
What else do you need to know?
Does anyone remember the late Ray
Scott of
CBS football?
"Packer ball, first and ten," was a real
mouthful for Scott.
CBS fired him—too dull. Now we have
John Madden, Terry Bradshaw and Jimmy Johnson analyzing
fans’ barbecuing techniques as they draw yellow circles
around sausage sandwiches.
"Silence is golden"—
Thomas Carlyle
If you have been a motor mouth all
your life, I now beseech you to abandon your tedious
ways. Although the challenge is daunting, with grit and
determination you can overcome.
As an inducement, remember that
once you pipe down, you will become one of a vanishing
species—the good listener. These are so few and far
between that a field guide is required to identify one.
But if becoming a good listener
isn’t glamorous enough for you, then perhaps you would
like to be thought of in the same light as these
well-know personalities of precious few words.
