Why I`m Not A “South Park Conservative”

I`ll get to First Lady Laura Bush`s
bawdy stand-up routine in a minute.

But I want to highlight a related
new book out about how young conservatives are

shaking up
the dominant liberal media culture. It`s
called

"South Park Conservatives."
My name is
listed on the

cover
along with many other (mostly) right-leaning
pundits, websites, and bloggers, but I must confess to
having mixed feelings about the honor.

The best-selling book`s author,
Brian C. Anderson of the Manhattan Institute, writes a
fun, breezy survey documenting the rise of

talk radio,


FOX News
, the

Internet
, conservative publishing, and college
Republican activism.

Anderson`s chapter on the success
of conservative talk radio and the abysmal failure of
liberal

Air America
to replicate it is incisive. Another
chapter on the

blogosphere
(alone worth the price of the book)
gives readers a useful history of the explosion of news,
opinion, and political websites that have smashed the
left-wing media monopoly.

But how did such a wide-ranging
list of individuals and organizations-Anderson`s book
cover includes the names of conservative-leaning
Internet pioneer

Matt Drudge
and center-left journalist

Mickey Kaus
, the libertarian Tech Central Station,
the culturally conservative

WorldNetDaily
, political upstart

Arnold
Schwarzenegger
and political chameleon

Andrew Sullivan
, plus

Ann Coulter
, Laura Ingraham, and

myself
, along with a feature blurb from

Jonah Goldberg
-all get lumped under the umbrella
term "South Park Conservatives?"

Anderson argues that Comedy
Central`s cartoon series, South Park, embodies the
"fiercely anti-liberal comedic spirit"
of the
"new media"
from Kaus to Coulter.

The cartoon, he writes, reflects a
"post-liberal counterculture" that is

"particularly appealing to the young, however much it
might offend older conservatives."

Well, I`m 34 and no fan of South
Park. I have many good friends who are indeed huge
boosters of the show, but I find that the

characters` foul language
overwhelms any
entertainment I might otherwise derive from the show`s
occasional, right-leaning iconoclastic themes.

South Park may be "politically
incorrect."
But "politically incorrect" is
not always a synonym for "conservative."

My discomfort with South Park`s
increasingly mainstream vulgarity is not a matter of
nitpicking. We`re not just talking about a stray curse
word here or there.

As liberal New York Times
columnist

Frank Rich
points out, South Park "holds the
record for the largest number of bleeped-out repetitions
(162) of a single four-letter expletive in a single
television half-hour."
[Conservatives
`South Park`
,
May 1, 2005]

That`s probably about the same
number of profanities uttered at John Kerry`s infamous
New York City celebrity fundraiser last summer, which
Republicans rightly condemned for its excessive
obscenities.

Rich is wrong about most things,
but he`s painfully on target in noting the incongruous
pandering now taking place by some in the cool-kids
clique on the Right. Conservatives criticize Hollywood
relentlessly, but as Rich notes, "the embarrassing
reality is that they want to be hip, too."

Which brings me to Mrs. Bush. She
demonstrated at the celebrity-studded White House
Correspondents` Dinner this weekend that you can
entertain without being profane. Most of her humor was
just right: Edgy but not over the edge. But her
off-color stripper and horse jokes

crossed the line.
Can you blame Howard Stern for
feeling peeved and perplexed? And let`s face it: if
Teresa ("I`m
cheeky!"
) Heinz Kerry had delivered Mrs. Bush`s
First Lady Gone Mildly Wild routine, social conservative
pundits would be up in arms over her

bad taste and lack of dignity.

 The First Lady resorting to horse
masturbation jokes is not much better than

Whoopi Goldberg
trafficking in dumb puns on the Bush
family name. It was wholly unnecessary.

Self-censorship is a conservative
value. In a brilliant commencement speech at Hillsdale
College last year Heritage Foundation president Ed
Feulner

called on his audience
to resist the coarsened
rhetoric of our time:

"If we
are to prevail as a free, self-governing people, we must
first govern our tongues and our pens. Restoring
civility to public discourse is not an option. It is a
necessity."

Lighten up, you say? No thanks. I`d
rather be a G-rated conservative who can only make my
kids giggle than a South Park/Desperate
Housewives
conservative whose goal is getting

Richard Gere
and

Jane Fonda
to snicker.

Giving the

Hollyweird
Left the last laugh is not my idea of
success.

Michelle Malkin [email
her] is author of

Invasion: How America Still Welcomes Terrorists,
Criminals, and Other Foreign Menaces to Our Shores
.
Click

here
for Peter Brimelow`s review. Click

here
for Michelle Malkin`s website.

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