What`s so funny about abstinence, Al Franken?

Left-wing “comedian” Al Franken
got tripped up by some big fat lies this week. He`s
sorry he got caught, but smugly silent about making fun
of countless American kids who have taken abstinence

Thanks to Court TV`s

Smoking Gun
website, we now know that the
Saturday Night Live
leftover abused his position as
an “academic fellow” (now that`s funny) at the
Harvard University Kennedy School of Government`s

Shorenstein Center for Press, Politics and Public Policy

in a puerile attempt to trick Attorney General

John Ashcroft
into publicly sharing his personal
experience with abstinence.


urged Ashcroft
to share his abstinence story for
“a book about abstinence programs in our public schools
called Savin` It
(lie). He assured Ashcroft
that the book would document how the Bush Administration
is “setting the right example for American`s youth”
(lie). And he breezily informed Ashcroft that he had
already “received wonderful testimonies from HHS
Secretary Tommy Thompson, William J. Bennett, White
House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, Senator Rick
Santorum, and National Security Advisor Condoleezza
(lie, lie, lie, lie, lie).

Franken sent the bogus
solicitation to Ashcroft on Harvard`s letterhead earlier
this summer, without the Shorenstein Center`s knowledge
or approval. A few weeks later, Franken sent an apology
to Ashcroft. In truth, Franken confessed, he
deliberately deceived Ashcroft while trying to gather
material for his “satirical” anti-conservative book
being rushed to print this week,

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and
Balanced Look at the Right
. Franken sheepishly
informed Ashcroft that the book will contain “only
one or two chapters dealing with abstinence-only

“My biggest regret is sending
the letter on Shorenstein Center stationary,”

Franken sniveled. “I am very embarrassed to have put
them in this awkward position, and I ask you not to hold
it against the Center, the Kennedy School, or Harvard in

So Franken is remorseful about
offending his high-minded liberal benefactors at
Harvard, who supported his book “research” under the
guise of “bridging the gap between journalists and
and “helping the press improve its role
in democracy.”
But he has nothing to say about
thoughtlessly ridiculing a growing movement that
promotes self-restraint, strong morals, fidelity, and
good health.

To the dismay

kiddie condom-pushers
in Hollywood and the ivory
tower, abstinence education programs such as

Project Reality

True Love Waits,

Virginity Rules
are rapidly gaining popularity among
American youth. Hundreds of thousands of young men and
women have signed chastity pledges as part of both
faith-based and secular programs. Celebrity role models
include 2003

Miss America Erika Harold
and basketball star

A.C. Green.

Professor Franken will no doubt
argue in his new book that abstinence programs have no
scientific basis. As if the

failed contraceptive-centric
model of the past two
decades does? A peer-reviewed
Pediatrics review showed that sex-ed programs
"neither increased contraceptive use, nor reduced
teenage pregnancy rates."
A study of 23 school-based
sex-education programs, published in the May/June 1994
issue of Public Health Reports, concluded much
the same. More recently, a pro-sex education
study found in 2001 that out of some 250
programs, only eight (a whopping 3 percent) purportedly
reduced "sexual risk-taking, pregnancy, and
childbearing among teens."  

Another study
published in the Journal of School Health noted
that "while most adolescents know condoms provide one
effective way to avoid HIV infection, less than half of
sexually active adolescents ages 15-17

used condoms
The annual failure
rate for condoms used as birth control is about 10
percent for adults; the figure doubles for teenage

When all else
fails, health officials celebrate the number of
birth-control devices distributed to teens as the
ultimate measure of efficacy. But this is like measuring
the effectiveness of welfare programs by the number of
checks passed out.

chaste young people and their abstinent role models as
oddballs and prudes may score Franken a few points at


cocktail parties. But if this intellectual
poseur thinks he can improve democracy through nasty
pranksterism and mockery, the only one he`s kidding is

Michelle Malkin [email
her] is author of

Invasion: How America Still Welcomes Terrorists,
Criminals, and Other Foreign Menaces to Our Shores

for Peter Brimelow`s review. Click

for Michelle Malkin`s website.