The Minutemen Diet Plan—Vigil The Weight Off!!



So I`m a bit ornery in today`s column but this story hit
me when I was feeling exceptionally irritated

about the whole border fiasco.

You`ve been warned…

After a long period of serious contemplation, I have
decided that I don`t like people. I`m all for
humanity—just not the vessel, if you know what I
mean.

I
hate to be the bearer of bad tidings but in case you
haven`t heard, our nation is fit to burst with the most

insufferable
species to ever inhabit the earth:

Protesters

I
say they are the worst and I`m grading on a curve. This
conclusion excludes the top three species from my list:

snake handlers
, people who dress like

Neo from the Matrix
and

hairless cats
. (Well, all cats.)

Then I read Diana Ponce`s story and a

new curve
was established. Here`s her picture:

Ok, the caption for this photo could be

anything
—limitless joke potential.

But truth is

stranger than fiction
. This woman is actually
fasting
.

Uh-huh—poodle here is on a hunger strike. Read
on…


“Diana Ponce talks on
a phone in the yard of her San Pablo home Wednesday, the
fifth day of a hunger strike to protest the gathering of

armed volunteers,
the Minuteman Project, at the

Arizona-Mexico border
to keep illegal immigrants
from

entering the United States.


Hunger strike protests anti-immigrant vigilantes
,

San Francisco Chronicle 4/21/05, Chronicle photo by John
O`Hara

Just like

Gandhi
, Ms. Ponce is squatting in her front
yard—with a television, no less—and

refusing to eat
as a mark of protest against the
Minuteman Project in Arizona.

(Toss in the gaggle of ACLU volunteers

busted
on film doping up their self-righteous minds
and the Arizona border must look like a three-ring
circus…or a Woodstock revival).

According to the CC Times` Shirley Dang

“Earlier this month, Ponce read a newspaper account of

the Minuteman Project,
a loose band of armed
volunteers gathered in Arizona this month to catch
illegal immigrants crossing the Mexican border.”

And
then,

“President Bush has called them

vigilantes
, but the administration has taken no
action.”

The Contra Costa Times described Ms. Ponce`s
condition as delirious
by the fourth night of fasting.

She was “fighting
off the chill under a fuzzy blanket emblazoned with the

Mexican flag.
” [San
Pablo woman protests border vigilantes
, Apr. 20,
2005]

Additionally, note the fence-strung banners that read
Tenemos Que Unirnos
or “we have to
unite.”

Diana
isn`t alone—her husband visits in the morning and after
work.

During
the long days, she grips a pink teddy bear and plays
with her

pit bull
. (A pit bull!…didn`t see that one
coming!)

Interestingly enough, she is also a

diabetic
. So engaging in a form of protest that
excludes food
was an interesting pick.

Ponce
also offered the Contra Costa Times this
explanation for the hunger strike:


“`How
can the government in 2005 allow this, let people take
the

law
into their own hands?`

said
Ponce, whose

father
came from

Michoacan
. `Why do they

need
to be

armed
?`”

Ponce
was also asked about her choice of locale.


…Ponce
said she wanted news cameras to show the world her
neighborhood—a

tight knit
Mexican-American

enclave
of families with

children
, all of them with

inalienable rights
.”

Ooh,
inalienable rights say she. Would that include
the right to avoid a

hostile take-over
by illegal aliens who hail from
places like Michoacan?

Explaining the front yard setting, she said something
that sounded unbelievably close to rational.


“And I figured the government can`t get involved if it`s
my own property,”

she
said.

Goodness gracious, the lady is on to something. Ponce is
of the opinion that government interference should be
limited by

private property rights.

But she wants the government to interfere in Arizona…

So does her opinion extend as far as to cover the

Minutemen
in Arizona and their

private property rights?

Would it extend far enough to cover the private property
rights of an

entire nation?

If so, I just happen to have one in mind.

The behavior of Ms. Ponce emphasizes the fine line
between

crazy for the cause
and just plain

crazy
.

More to the point, she is guided by the same system of
beliefs shared by most pro-immigration enthusiasts:

Most people are endowed with certain inalienable rights—illegal
immigrants
are endowed with theirs and

yours
.


Bryanna Bevens [email
her] is a political consultant and former chief of staff
for a member of the California State Assembly.