The Increasingly Erratic, Super-Gaffetastic Joe Biden

If the prospect of
Joe Biden
sitting a heartbeat away from the
presidency doesn`t give you palpitations, you are not
paying attention.

Sarah Palin-bashers
on the unhinged left and elitist
right have dominated

campaign press coverage
and pop culture. They`ve
ridiculed her family, her appearance and her speech
patterns. They`ve derided her character, her parenting
skills, her readiness and her intellect.

Meanwhile, the increasingly
erratic, super-gaffetastic Joe Biden gets a pass. What
does the guy have to do to earn the relentless scrutiny
and merciless mockery he deserves? Answer: wear high
heels, shoot

and change the
"D" next to
his name to an

Team Obama is hammering John McCain
as "erratic" in the closing days of the election campaign. There are
now 615,000 Google hits and counting using the search
terms "erratic
Last week,
The New York Times
devoted an entire article to the Obama-Biden line of
attack, titled
"In Friendly Region, Biden Cites McCain as Erratic."

Who`s erratic? Throughout the
primary and general election cycles, Biden has lurched
from attacking Obama as not ready for prime time ("The
presidency is not something that lends itself to
on-the-job training."
) to ready to lead ("Barack
Obama is ready. This is his time."
—August 2008) and
back again.

This week, Biden warned America
that an Obama victory would invite a dangerous global
showdown between tyrants and the naif Obama.
"Mark my words,"

Biden said Sunday
at a Democratic fundraiser.
"It will not be six months [after the inauguration] before the world
tests Barack Obama like they

did John Kennedy
In a follow-up appearance, he
told supporters to brace for the worst and
"gird your

Out of Biden`s mouth, this is
called candor. Out of anyone else`s mouth, it would be
and a

Tooting his own horn while
vandalizing his running mate`s, Biden bragged:
"I`ve forgotten
more about foreign policy than most of my colleagues
Yeah. Colleagues like that guy who had a mere
143 days of Senate experience before launching his
presidential bid and choosing you to shore up his meager
credibility, Joe.

In fact, Biden has spent the entire
campaign questioning his running mate`s judgment. Last
month, he mused out loud:
"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more than I am to be vice president
of the United States of America. … She is easily
qualified to be vice president of the United States of
America, and quite frankly it might have been a better
pick than me."
Biden assailed the campaign`s
position on clean coal, openly criticized the campaign`s
idiotic ad attacking McCain for not using e-mail and
warned the pro-gun control Obama that
"if he tries to fool with my Beretta, he`s got a problem."

Dan Quayle will have
etched on his gravestone. But how many times have
late-night comedians and cable shows replayed the video
of senior statesman and six-term Sen. Biden`s own
spelling mishap last week while attacking McCain`s
economic plan?

"Look, John`s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the No. 1
job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as
Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S."

No, Joe.
"D`-O-H" is a
three-letter word.

Nightly news shows still haven`t
tired of replaying Palin`s infamous interview with Katie
Couric. But how many times have they replayed Biden`s
botched interview with Couric last month—in which he

"When the stock market crashed,
Franklin D. Roosevelt
got on the television and
didn`t just talk about the, you know, the princes of
greed. He said, `Look, here`s what happened.`"

Er, here`s what really happened:
Roosevelt wasn`t president when the market crashed in
1929. As for appearing on TV, it was still in its infant
stages and wasn`t available to the general public until
at least 10 years later.

During the lone VP debate earlier
this month, the increasingly erratic, super-affetastic
Biden demonstrated more historical ignorance that Palin
would never be allowed to get away with:
"Vice President
Cheney`s been the most dangerous vice president we`ve
had probably in American history,"
he said.
"He has the idea
he doesn`t realize that Article I of the Constitution
defines the role of the vice president of the United
States, that`s the executive—he works in the executive
branch. He should understand that. Everyone should
understand that."

Article 1 of the Constitution
defines the role of the legislative branch, not the
executive branch. You would think someone who has served
36 years in government—the same someone who is quick to
remind others of his high IQ and longtime Senate
Judiciary Committee chairmanship—would know better.

Biden`s erratic and gaffetastic
behavior is the least of America`s worries. He`s worse
than a blunderbuss. He`s an incurable narcissist with
chronic diarrhea of the mouth. He`s a phony and a
pretender who fashions himself a foreign policy expert,
constitutional scholar and worldly wise man. He`s a man
who can`t control his impulses.

And he could be a heartbeat away.

Now, back to your regularly
scheduled Palin-says-"You



Michelle Malkin [email
her] is author of

Invasion: How America Still Welcomes Terrorists,
Criminals, and Other Foreign Menaces to Our Shores

for Peter Brimelow`s review. Click

for Michelle Malkin`s website.
Michelle Malkin`s latest book is "
Exposing Liberals Gone Wild.