The Etiquette Czar`s Rules for Patriotic Protest

The White House press office is now

Miss Manners`
office. President Obama`s press
secretary, Robert Gibbs, took to the television airwaves
this week to criticize congressional town hall
protesters for "yelling." Gibbs` underling, Bill Burton,

chastised voters
not to
"disrupt" and
Instead, he advised America to engage in a
"spirited debate
about health care, a real vigorous conversation about

What constitutes
How do they define
When does forceful dissent become intolerable
disruption? Herewith, the Obama Etiquette Czar`s
Official Rules for Patriotic Protest. Keep this guide
with you at all times to avoid being flagged by the
Democratic politeness monitors.

  • No shouting.
    Congressional representatives cannot sell Obamacare with
    mobs of unruly senior citizens and small-business owners
    interrupting to press them on specific sections of the
    bill. Limit your objections to a library whisper and
    only challenge your lawmakers with hushed, dulcet tones.
    Otherwise, you will scare them, and they will be forced
    to hide behind teleconference calls, sick children at
    hospitals or union bosses.

If, on the other hand, you are
attending a presidential town hall to show your
affection and approbation,
"spirited" chanting is acceptable.

  • Don`t:

  • Do:
    "I LOVE YOU,

    "YES, WE CAN!"

  • Also permitted: Shouting
    at historic inaugurations to protest war (as legions of

    Code Pink
    activists did in 2005 during the
    president`s address) and shouting,
    "We didn`t cross the borders, the borders crossed us!"
    to protest immigration enforcement (as thousands of
    illegal alien supporters did during

    raucous rallies in 2006

  • Do refrain from
    boisterous shrieking against those who accuse you of
    lacking patriotism — unless you are Hillary Clinton,
    at the top of her lungs in 2003:
    "I am sick and
    tired of people who say that if you debate and you
    disagree with this administration, somehow you`re not
    patriotic. We should stand up and say we are Americans
    and we have a right to debate and disagree with any

  • No laughing. Snickering
    at proponents of nationalized health care is rude,
    bordering on political terrorism. Stifle all derisive
    chuckling at bogus statistics and denials that Obamacare
    will lead to long lines and rationed care. That would be
    "evil-mongering," as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid put it on

If, however, you are a member of
Congress confronted with silly questions about whether
you have read the bill, feel free to giggle. For tips on
executing acceptable levels of cackling, take a cue from
House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer.
"If every member
pledged to not vote for it if they hadn`t read it in its
entirety, I think we would have very few votes,"

Hoyer told while choking back laughter after
a recent news conference.
"I`m laughing because a) I don`t know how long this bill is going to be,
but it`s going to be a very long bill."

  • No Nazi comparisons.
    References to fascism are ugly and un-American.
    Swastikas have no place in debates about nationalizing
    20 percent of the economy. Swastikas may, however, still
    be used as substitutes for the
    "S" in
    and tattoos on the forehead of Darth Cheney.

  • No boorish questions.
    "Real vigorous conversation" requires town hall attendees to
    formulate queries that will encourage true debate. This
    is not the time to ask why Congress won`t subject itself
    to the health mandates it wants to foist on every other
    American. This is not the time to ask how the White
    House will pay for the massive Obamacare bureaucracy
    without raising taxes on the middle class. The White
    House endorsed model citizen questioning at its East
    Room health care town halls in March and July, including
    this: "Hi, Mr. President. I`m a member of SEIU, and I`m down here in Fairfax
    County working on Change That Works. What can I do, as a
    member of the union, to help you with your reform bill?"

  • No mean signs. That
    11-year-old daughter of a Massachusetts Obama donor and
    campaigner who was randomly chosen to criticize the
    scary posters held up by town hall protesters in New
    Hampshire was right.
    "Mean" signs
    are, well, mean. Never mind the placards that blared
    "Bush is the only
    dope worth shooting"
    in Nancy Pelosi`s San Francisco
    and the assassination art depicting former President
    Bush with a gun to his head in Chicago.
    "Obama is a
    is a sign too far and cannot be tolerated
    in a civil society. Period.

Instead, print out the
signs helpfully produced by Obama`s
Organizing for
and burn your
"Don`t Tread on
flags. Such rebellious sentiments are dangerous
incitements to


To those of you who can`t abide by
The Rules: Shhhhhhhhh.



Michelle Malkin

is the author of

Invasion: How America Still Welcomes Terrorists,
Criminals, and Other Foreign Menaces to Our


for Peter Brimelow`s review. Click


for Michelle Malkin`s website. Michelle Malkin
is also author of

Unhinged: Exposing Liberals Gone Wild

and the just-released
Culture of Corruption: Obama and his Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks & Cronies.