In the matter of Bob Dylan getting the Nobel Prize for Literature, I note that back in April 2011, when Bob Dylan gave a concert in mainland China, I suggested some modifications he might make to his song titles, to make them more acceptable to the ChiCom authorities.
The Los Angeles Times reports that the ChiCom Ministry of Culture insisted on vetting his songs beforehand, and vetoed "The Times They Are A-Changin'" and "Blowin' in the Wind." Among the Dylan numbers that did get approved by the authorities were:
[Radio Derb, April 8th 2011]
- "Round-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands,"
- "Knock Knock Knockin' on Taiwan's Door,"
- "Maggie's Production Brigade,"
- "I'll Be Your Cadre Tonight,"
- "Mr Bo Jang Er,"
- "Lay, Lady, Lay, So We Can Perform a Compulsory Abortion On You,"
- "Boots of Imitation Spanish Leather, We'll Have a Container-Full On Its Way To You By Next Friday,"
- "Forever Foo Young,"
- "Hey Mr T-Bond Salesman,"
- and for winners of the Nobel Peace Prize, "Subterranean Dungeon Blues."
(That last was a reference to democracy activist Liu Xiaobo
—who, by the way, shares a home town
with Mrs Derbyshire—awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2010, today serving his eighth year in a ChiCom jail for seeking rational, consensual government.)
I've been trying to think of similar adjustments to Dylan song titles that might make them appropriate to the current election cycle. My satiric powers are not what they were, though, and I haven't been able to get much further than "Lie, Lady, Lie" (for Mrs Clinton) and "Knock, knock, knockin' on Ryan's Door" for Mr Trump.
("Rainy Day Women Nos. 12 & 35,"
which has obviously been the inspiration for Mrs Clinton's latest offensive, needs no modification.)
I invite VDARE.com readers and contributors to exercise their wit on the Dylan opus. Noteworthy entries will be posted on-site here. The one deemed best by our judges will receive a prize: a free guided tour of the Radio Derb recording studio.UPDATE:
The Pretenders already did a record of "Boots Of Chinese Plastic"