Asking racist, pathological liar columnist Leonard “Cry Me a River’ Pitts Jr.—a convicted Pulitzer Prize winner—for advice on race is like hiring a convicted pedophile to run a day-care center.

In his newest, er, thing, Dr. Laura’s ignorance on display, Pitts molests truth and decency—that’s what the Miami Herald pays him to do, after all—and radio host “Dr. Laura’ Schlessinger. (To the literacy volunteers reading to the functional illiterates who have been screaming on message boards that Schlessinger has no doctorate and no education, she has a real doctorate in a real field, physiology, from Columbia, on top of a B.S. in biology from my alma mater, SUNY Stony Brook, and an M.S. in physiology, also from Columbia. And for what it’s worth, she reportedly also has a “post-doctoral certification in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling’ from USC. Such a credential means little to me, and even less to her political enemies. There’s no credential for wisdom. That’s not a knock on Schlessinger, but a general statement on the value of university credentials in certain fields. And yet, if her detractors were as serious about credentials as they purport to be, her post-doc certification would mean the world to them. It's just that, in their ignorance and laziness, they had no idea just how mindbogglingly educated this woman is.)

For background, please read my article on Schlessinger, “[Censored, Censored, Censored]” The title is a third-hand quotation, but in a nation in which tens of millions of blacks shout out the “N-word’ about 1,000 times each per day, it really shouldn’t matter, and indeed, to black racists like Pitts and Nita “Jade’ Hanson, the racist black caller who I believe set up Schlessinger, it doesn’t, or so they claim.

Both racists have insisted that using the “N’-word wasn’t the worst of the radio host’s offenses. But such sophistry is a gimmick of the Black School of Rhetorical Bombast: Take an act committed by a white that racist blacks have decreed is the worst thing that a white can do, seek to destroy her for the offense, but then insist that that wasn’t even the white’s, er racist’s, worst offense.

I can only skim Pitts’ column because, as Mary McCarthy famously observed of Stalinist Lillian Hellman, every word he says is a lie, including “and” and “the.” A complete Fisking would take thousands of words, and constitute cruel and unusual punishment of my readers.

Pitts: "There are exceptions, yes, but by and large, that terrain is the dark side of the moon for conservatives. They don't know it well, so they tend to go there rarely, reluctantly and seldom voluntarily. And when they do, they not infrequently make Patrick Buchanan-size jackasses of themselves."

Implication I: Racist white leftists and black racists like Pitts are experts on race. I’m way beyond laughing at the smug sense of entitlement of racist black AA hires like Pitts. Sometimes I get angry, but Pitts is so weak that he’s usually just boring.

Implication II: When Pat Buchanan writes about race, he makes a “jackass” of himself.

First of all, every time I’ve seen Buchanan write about race—and I’m a long-time, regular reader—he’s been dead-on. Second of all, I doubt that Pitts has read Buchanan on race, or any other topic, in this millennium. And third, whether intellectually, journalistically, or in thinking about race, Pitts can’t carry Buchanan’s jock strap. (And though I recognize Buchanan as probably America’s greatest living political writer, I’m not even a Buchananite! To get the measure of the man, read his masterpiece, State of Emergency.) It’s unfair to Buchanan for me to even mention his and Pitts’ names in the same sentence, but it was Pitts who went out of his way to make this an issue. He always puts his foot in his mouth in ways that would mortify a man who had any integrity.

But Pitts was just warming up.

"So the train wreck of a radio segment that generated unwelcome headlines for talk-show host Laura Schlessinger last week was predictable the moment she took a call from an African American woman named 'Jade.' [Hanson] See, Jade, inexplicably, sought Dr. Laura's advice on what to do when her white husband's family and friends make 'racist comments' in front of her."

"Jade" didn't call Schlessinger for advice, but in order to set her up.

"And that's when the train took a header into the gorge. First, there was Jade's mention of a neighbor who can't drop by without asking her how black people like this or black people like that. Dr. Laura said that wasn't racist — which is arguably fair, but ignores the fact that a person gets tired of constantly being treated as an emissary from the planet Negro."

Then why doesn’t Pitts quit his job? His entire career, personal wealth, and Pulitzer conviction are based solely on his “being treated as an emissary from the planet Negro.”

"Then there was Dr. Laura's non sequitur rant about how blacks voted for Barack Obama 'without giving much thought' — the brainless, easily swayed black voter being a fiction beloved by many conservatives, and never mind that it was Queen of Soul Hillary Clinton who had the black vote sewn up and Obama who was forced to earn it."

It wasn’t a non sequitur. “The brainless, easily swayed black voter” is a fact much beloved by all white leftist and black racist Democrats. Hillary Clinton never had the black vote sewn up. The problem was that black voters lied to pollsters.

"There is much more, but we are running out of space and still haven't gotten to the part that made headlines and forced Dr. Laura into an apology the next day. Jade asked, 'How about the N-word?'"

"Black guys use it all the time," snapped Dr. Laura. "Turn on HBO, listen to a black comic and all you hear is n—-r, n—-r, n—-r." [NS: Pitts quoted the full word; I censored it, in order to protect VDARE.com from censorship software, and from Google's censors.]

When Jade challenged her casual use of that word, Schlessinger doubled down. She repeated her N-word trilogy and at one point told Jade, "I think you have too much sensitivity ...".

There is, should it need saying, a big hole in Dr. Laura's reasoning. Comics do all sorts of obnoxious things. They call women by a synonym for female dogs. They talk about menstruation, masturbation, nose-picking, gas-passing and other subjects that are generally avoided in polite company."

Schlessinger’s mistake was in referring to black comedians. It is ordinary—whether “educated” or not—blacks who continuously pollute the nation’s streets, subways, buses, classrooms, businesses and agencies with “n—-r.”

“Does Schlessinger really think comedians should be our standard on matters of decorum? Does she really think comedians' — or rappers' and street kids' — choice of language justifies her use of a noxious epithet loathed by the vast majority of the 38 million people against whom it is routinely hurled? Or that calling her on that is evidence of hypersensitivity?..."

What is he, the reincarnation of Joseph “Big Lie” Goebbels? Only twice in 25 years in New York City, during which time I heard blacks say the word millions of times, and once call me one, have I ever heard a white call a black “n—-r.” [In June, 1993, during the run-up to a racial attack, in which she sought to shred my face with a scissors, a racist, 18-year-old black girl called me a “n—-r.”] One white guy was a drug dealer who looked to be about 18 years old, threatening a black rival from outside the black Far Rockaway neighborhood I lived in, circa 1996.

The other case was that of a wheelchair-bound man in his seventies who called his husky black roommate a “n—-r,” after the latter had continuously tortured, assaulted, and terrorized him for three days in the presence of approving black nurse aides, nurses, and supervisors at the Rockaway Care nursing home, during summer, 1998. (After I confronted the racist black thug and called him a “punk,” the black supervising nurse finally gave the victim a tiny, private room.)

On the other hand, millions of black adults teach, encourage, and incite black children and young people to assault whites of all ages daily with racial epithets ("cracker," "white motherf—-r," "ghost," etc.), threats, and bloodcurdling violence.

"Suffice it to say, I bet you Dr. Laura never thought about it like that. I bet you she never thought about it at all. And therein lies the problem — not simply for her, but for conservatives in general who seek to contribute to a constructive racial dialogue.

See, I'd argue the most offensive thing about Schlessinger's gaffe wasn't her use of the N-word, but the air of smug entitlement with which she did so. Conversing with a woman who lives a reality about which she can only theorize, Dr. Laura brushed away Jade's every effort to dissent or explain. She was not there to engage. She already knew all she needed to."

Total projection.

But of course Schlessinger was there to engage Hanson. The problem was, Hanson was there to bushwack Schlessinger. Besides, in the racist black mental universe, whites’ job is to defer to blacks, to listen to blacks’ paranoid, racist monologues, and to beg blacks’ forgiveness, which they usually refuse to give, just as Nita Hanson refused to accept Laura Schlessinger’s apology, and before Hanson, Al Sharpton refused to accept Don Imus’ apology.

“Cry me a river,’ was Pitts’ response, following the Knoxville Horror, to all whites complaining about that particular racist atrocity, and about black racism in general:

“I have four words for them [white racists] and any other white Americans who feel themselves similarly victimized.

“Cry me a river.’