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McCain as Paris Hilton, Obama as Daniel Day-Lewis
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April 26, 2008, 04:31 PM
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John McCain spent the week campaigning in poor black neighborhoods. Is this part of some complex master Rovian plan to switch the demographic balance of the election? Nah. Or is it part of a cynical "Message: I Care" ploy? Nah, too. Or does McCain really care about poor blacks? Nah, three.

McCain`s pretty much broke, so he`s running a Reality TV-style campaign where instead of paying for expensive speechwriters and TV ads, he just figures out some wacky situation that will attract more cameras than normal and he just wings it in from there. This week`s McCain campaign jaunt was like that Paris Hilton reality show "The Simple Life" where she and Nicole Richie milked cows.

McCain`s been winging it his whole life. That`s what he`s best at. He may lose a wing now and then, but he`s still here.

In contrast, Obama`s preferred mode of campaigning is the way Daniel Day-Lewis makes movies: as infrequently and monumentally as possible. Obama`s 5000 word speech on Rev. Wright was the political equivalent of Daniel Day-Lewis`s performance in "There Will Be Blood."

In fact, what a lot of people said to each other right after Obama`s Rev. Wright speech was awfully similar to what they said as they were walking up the theater aisle from "There Will Be Blood," with Brahms` Violin Concerto blasting away behind them:

"Magnificent!"

"He makes a shiver run down my leg!"

"Like Orson Welles` `Citizen Kane!` / Lincoln`s `Gettysburg Address!`"

"He`s so much better than all other actors / politicians!"

"By the way" [in a small voice, looking around to make sure nobody else in the crowd is paying attention], what the hell was that about?"

"Uh ... I dunno."

"You don`t know either?

"Well, it was about this minister."

"But what about the minister?"

"Yeah, well, Day-Lewis / Obama hates / loves the minister. And he gets rid of / doesn`t get rid of the minister."

"How come?"

"I ... don`t know. It had something to do with religion. But, it didn`t seem to come up much in the movie / speech."

"So, why are we raving about it?"

"Look, making sense isn`t really the point, now is it? The point is that Daniel Day-Lewis / Barack Obama is the most amazing person in the whole world."

"Right, sorry, my mistake, never mind."