In the latest Batman movie (or "the Batman" as all the bad guys in the picture say), Katie Holmes has been replaced as the love interest by Maggie Gyllenhall, who looks like a sad cartoon turtle. Exactly why we're supposed to believe that Christian Bale and Aaron Eckhart are both hopelessly in love with Maggie Gyllenhaal is unexplained, but that's not the point.

The point is that casting Mrs. Tom Cruise in a blockbuster movie is like picking Mrs. Bill Clinton to run on the national ticket—she's okay, but what's her husband going to do be doing? He's got way too much energy to stay out of the spotlight. Who needs him? And, thus, who needs her?