From the NYT:

J. Dennis Hastert, the former speaker of the House of Representatives, was paying a man to not say publicly that Mr. Hastert had sexually abused him decades ago, according to two people briefed on the evidence uncovered in an F.B.I. investigation into the payments.

Federal prosecutors on Thursday announced the indictment of Mr. Hastert on allegations that he made cash withdrawals designed to hide those payments and for lying to federal authorities about the purpose of the withdrawals.

The man – who was not identified in court papers — told the F.B.I. that he had been inappropriately touched by Mr. Hastert when Mr. Hastert was a high school teacher and wrestling coach, the two people said on Friday. The people briefed on the investigation spoke on the condition of anonymity because they did not want to be identified discussing a federal investigation.

“Inappropriately touched” doesn’t necessarily mean full-on Jerry Sandusky-style. The not-quite-so-dirty little secret of the Catholic priest scandals is that most of the sexual acts weren’t as Sandusky-bad as people automatically assume. (The same, by the way, appears to be true for a lot of the accusations against Bill Cosby.)

Most of the Catholic priest perpetrators were gentle lonely alcoholic gay men, not gay pedophile / ephebophile linebacker coaches. You’ll notice that even now, four years after the Sandusky story was giant news, nobody has managed to track down another story quite as bad.

On the other hand, maybe Hastert really was as bad as Sandusky. We’ll likely find out shortly.

The title of the post refers to the famous quote by four-time Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards, who recently was paroled after eight years in a federal penitentiary:

Before election day, Edwards joked with reporters: “The only way I can lose this election is if I’m caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy”.

Update: Here’s scandalmonger Wayne Madsen crowing over a 2006 article he wrote on Hastert during the Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) gay sexting male pages scandal.

By the way, from Newsmax on 12/26/2014:

By giving-up his six-figure seat on the board of a healthcare corporation, former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush has signaled that he will do more than just explore a 2016 White House run: he is “in it for the duration,” lobbyist and former Florida U.S. Rep. Mark Foley told Newsmax TV on Friday.

Jeb said back in 2006 he was “dismayed and shocked to learn” that about Foley.

This is probably all very unfair to bring up Jeb’s name in tangential relationship to this scandal, but he is running for President.