What If There Is Terrorism At The Olympics?

You can sense an almost palpable hope among many influential Americans for a terrorist incident at the Winter Olympics to ruin the Russkies` fun. Let`s try to game plan what would happen next.

1. If there is a terrorist attack, then Twitter would probably explode with Americans saying, “Ha-ha, Russians, you had it coming!”

2. Russians will hear about the most offensive American comments and take offense.

3. Within a few of days, it will emerge that the terrorists had a few-degrees-of-separation connections with the CIA or the National Endowment for Democracy or the like, and/or NATO candidate Georgia, and/or shadowy Russian government agencies. Or all three.

For instance, the Winter Olympics are taking place very close to what`s officially the territory of Georgia, but has been ruled by the Russian-supported breakaway Abkhazians for a couple of decades. 

If you think I`m crazy that a little Internet searching would probably find some kind of link between terrorists and government officials, consider the Boston Marathon bombing of last March. It turned out that the Bomb Brothers are in this country more or less because their Uncle Ruslan used to be married to Samantha Ankara Fuller, the daughter of the former top CIA troublemaker in the region, Graham Fuller. And then the FBI shot dead Ibragim Todashev, Tamerlan Tsarnaev`s purported accomplice in an alleged earlier terrorist triple murder on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. But it turned out that Todashev was granted refugee status in the U.S. even though his father is a high official in Putin`s puppet government in Ramzan Kadyrov`s Chechnya.

What does it all mean? Probably … just Chechens acting Checheny. 

But then I`m the kind of horrible unAmerican stereotyper who thinks racistly that just because Pushkin, Lermontov, Tolstoy, and Solzhenitsyn were fascinated by the brave craziness of the Chechens, that young male Chechens really do feel some sort of cultural influence to act crazily brave.

4. Many Russians would then interpret these kind of weird connections to the Sochi terrorists as evidence of an American conspiracy, perhaps related to the on-going American conspiracy in Ukraine, which Victoria Nuland says the U.S. has spent $5 billion upon since 1991. (It`s statistically likely that spending that kind of money over that many years on the fringes of Russia buys America a little bit of contact with whoever turns out to be, say, a brother-in-law`s uncle of just about anybody who might blow up the Olympics.)

5. Americans, who are well trained to reject the entire concept of conspiracies, will interpret Russian interest in these links as proof of Russia`s innately malignant conspiracy-theorizing transphobic whateverism that`s doomed by the inevitable scientific workings of History to be overwhelmed by the triumph of democracy and gay rights, just as 31 consecutive state referendums voting against gay marriage were eventually overwhelmed by Democracy! So, many Americans will explain on Twitter, maybe we ought to bomb the Russkies just on general principles.

6. War actually won`t break out. These days, war is so costly that it`s stupid. Like Robert Gates in 2008 when Georgia invaded Russian-supported territory, Chuck Hagel doesn`t want a war with Russia on his watch.

7. Other countries will observe these events with intense interest. Consider the nearby Turks, who, being Turks, are unlikely to conclude that any such events were just random bad luck. 

I would imagine that Imam Gulen in the Poconos will argue to his enigmatic cabal of followers in the Turkish police that engineering this black eye for Putin just proves that the Americans are the puppetmasters, so we Gulenists are right to accept the support of Uncle Ruslan`s ex-father-in-law and other elements in the American deep state while we establish our networks inside Turkey`s security forces and America`s charter schools. 

But what will Prime Minister Erdogan think? He may conclude that this shows he better get even more with the program with Washington. Or it may convince him that he needs to ally with Iran and Russia against the insolent hyperpower. Who knows?

8. In the long run, police investigation would probably prove that the terrorist attacks really were mostly due to random young male hormones; but by then the world will have ratcheted over one more notch toward a lousier future.

So, my fellow Americans, can we just tone down the Russia-hatred a bit for two more weeks?