April 10, 2006

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A Virginia Reader Remembers Dr. Madeleine Cosman

A New York Senior Supreme Court Clerk (Retired) Offers His Amnesty Plan

From:  Jeffrey Diamond

Re: Joe Guzzardi’s Column: The United States Senate: Playing With Fire

As I understand it, amnesty will be offered to anyone who can prove he has resided in the U.S. for five years.

Let's dispense for the moment with the idea that people who have no identification can make statements under oath or can be sworn, since the only witnesses who can attest to their identity are almost certainly disqualified because they are also illegal aliens.

We are still left with a few interesting questions which should be posed to the applicants to establish their credentials and un-do any damage they have already caused to the American economy and taxpayers.

Here are my recommended questions:

If your reply is "I worked off the books,” then please file your tax return immediately, including proof of money earned, with full payment of the delinquent taxes, penalties and interest. Can't do that? Disqualified, return to Mexico until this requirement can be satisfied, then re-apply from Mexico.

If your reply is "I worked on the books." then please produce IRS-certified copies of your tax returns during that period showing that all taxes incurred were paid on time. Can't do that? Disqualified, return to Mexico until this requirement can be satisfied, then re-apply from Mexico.

If your reply is "I was supported by the charity of friends/relatives." then please identify these people as to relationship, name, address, phone and social security number, and sworn statements from them that this is true and the source of their money, and copies of their tax returns. Can't do that? Disqualified, return to Mexico until this requirement can be satisfied, then re-apply from Mexico.

If your reply is "I received public assistance." then when (and if) employed, your pay will be garnished until the entire amount defrauded from public assistance as well as penalties and interest have been repaid. Won't do that? Disqualified, return to Mexico until you can re-pay the entire amount, then re-apply from Mexico.

If you answer "Yes" when (and if) employed, your pay will be garnished until the entire amount defrauded from the school district as well as penalties and interest have been repaid. Won't do that? Disqualified, return to Mexico until you can re-pay the entire amount, then re-apply from Mexico.

If you answer "Yes," when (and if) employed, your pay will be garnished until the entire amount defrauded from Medicaid as well as penalties and interest is repaid. Won't do that? Disqualified, return to Mexico until you can repay the entire amount, then re-apply from Mexico.

In addition, all amnesty applicants must be fingerprinted, photographed, DNA samples taken (cheek swab) and signs a release as a condition of application giving their consent that if they are refused but do not leave, the penalty is permanent denial of any status and 30 years imprisonment in the Aleutian Islands.

That should shorten the list by about 100%.