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Here is the text of former President Barack Obama's farewell address, which he delivered before departing in the interstellar battlecruiser that landed next to the Washington Monument this morning:
I am both surprised and deeply humbled by the decision of the Milky Way Senate to honor me by naming me Galactic Overlord.
I guess it's not a secret that I think immigration enthusiasts are generally pretty dim (when they're not actually evil). John P. Avlon's recent column in the Daily Beast listing what he calls "some of the most pungent anti-immigrant quotes from our recent wingnut history—from the racist to the ridiculous" is a case in point.
From Reuters, not The Onion:
U.S. President Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for giving the world "hope for a better future" and striving for nuclear disarmament.
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